Dating the Ex of a sibling

Dating the Ex of a sibling
Dating a sibling's Ex "lover" has always been held to as a taboo and a common sense no no. Has anyone had any experience with this? I personally have gone down this road and it did not end up badly, but it was just strange and to out of ordinary to continue.

Comments

AlexHarris
I was going to say something rude, obscene, and uncalled for, but I just won't. I can't say I have ever been in this situation before seeing that I only have one sibling and it's my sister and I'm male and neither of us is homosexual. If you two really like each other then you shouldn't be bothered by the fact that it didn't work out between your siblings.
Posted by AlexHarris on 06-11-2017
Corzhens
I know of several women who had dated the ex of their sister. One such woman is even a celebrity that her younger sister was supposed to be the girlfriend of a singer but eventually the singer became the older sister’s boyfriend. Now they are a couple for a long time already. I don’t know what happened to the younger sister, how she had recovered and how she was able to move on when her ex became the husband of her older sister.
Posted by Corzhens on 11-08-2018
Sue
I havr five sisters so there has been many exs over the years but that is something that none of us ever did. It just wasn't an option. It would be too awkward of a situation for all those involved. I couldn't not have done it to them and they wouldn't have done it to me.

Glad it didn't create a problem in your family. I have a friend whose sister ended up marrying her ex. That was many years ago now and it completely divided the family. To this day the two sisters have nothing to do with each other. It really is sad.
Posted by Sue on 06-11-2017
Anonymous
I have never been in this situation but my friend has. My friend was really hurt by the fact that his sibling was dating his ex. He really liked his ex and was always reminded of his past relationship with his ex, due to his ex always being around his family. Dating a sibling's ex can cause a lot of trust issues between siblings. I do not recommend dating a sibling's ex.
Posted by Anonymous on 06-11-2017
Jimmy38
I have never experienced this situation. My best friend has an ex that he truly loved and his brother started dating her. They haven't talked for 3 years. My friend thinks he cannot trust his own brother anymore because his brother knew that he had a serious relationship with his ex. I believe that dating a sibling's ex is off limits. These type of things can ruin families.
Posted by Jimmy38 on 06-11-2017
simplym
I would never date my ex's sibling. That would be a definite no - no and would look bad upon ones image and reputation. Imagine family gatherings, or going over to their place you see your ex there and everyone knows your history. This is no different than dating your ex's best friend which I would never do.
Posted by simplym on 06-11-2017
littlewitch66
My sister dated an ex of mine but I was ok with it because I really wasn't interested in him any more. I think if both parties are ok with it then why not. I know it's supposed to be taboo but I'm not a jealous kind of person so I guess that's why I didn't mind. As long as a sibling doesn't still have feelings for that person I think it's ok.
Posted by littlewitch66 on 06-11-2017
AWPEK
I find this to be a really strange thing to do. Personally, I don't mind if a person wants to be with the person they love, but it would be somewhat awkward to date someone that was once your siblings' lover. I recommend that before dating ex-lover of your sibling it would be best to discuss it first with the parents as well as with the sibling who dated that man/women. If you come to an agreement and promise not to let anything of the relationship come between the entire family then it's okay to date that person. However, if you don't come to an agreement and you really love and want to date that person then keep trying until you come to an agreement otherwise things will end up really bad. Also, there are chances in which you could even lose your bond with your family, so try to talk it out first which is a good start towards a calm relationship.
Posted by AWPEK on 06-11-2017
Alexa
I don't think it's a wise thing to do especially if it was a serious relationship. If it was only casual dating when they were teens then maybe it's okay, but the sensible thing to do is okay it with all parties beforehand. That's just respectful and prevents any fall out. Some people are okay with it, as long as they know about it and it's not done behind their backs.
Posted by Alexa on 06-11-2017
Madelyn
My brother is straight and so am I, so I'm not going to ever personally experience this. However, if I would not date someone that my sibling had previously dated. That's just off limits and would be very awkward at family gatherings.
Posted by Madelyn on 06-11-2017
Corzhens
I don't think it is a good idea but I know that it happens. In fact, I know of several couples who were like that - married a sibling's ex. In those cases, I call it love is blind (just for humor though). But if you think deeply why it happens then maybe you will agree that it's really because of love which is sometimes mysterious. This is the story of my husband's nephew who broke up with his girlfriend. And along the way of breakup, he turned to his ex's mother. Now the nephew and the ex's mother have been living together for more than 5 years. Kind of weird but it happens.
Posted by Corzhens on 06-11-2017
Anonymous
I don't think that it is a good idea to date a sibling's ex. It would make things awkward on so many levels. I have 4 sisters and none of us have ever dated one of the other's ex's. Family is family and you should not do anything to tear apart that relationship.
Posted by Anonymous on 06-12-2017
BigDreamer
I would never even think about dating one of my sibling's ex's. It's not a good idea and someone is probably going to end up hurt. I would think it would be pretty awkward to see one of my sister's with someone I had dated.
Posted by BigDreamer on 06-12-2017
lushlala
For me personally, it's a big no-no. I just think it's beyond weird, and while I won't judge anyone for going down this route; it's just not something my siblings/cousins and I would ever consider doing. I mean, even among my girlfriends, there's that unwritten law that we don't do each other's ex's. Some people will say they checked with their siblings or their friends, but I strongly believe some people will say they're fine with you dating their ex when in fact the opposite is true. But because they don't want to be the party pooper, they'll say they don't mind. I think it's better to stay well clear and protect your relationship with your siblings/friends. The damage it can cause is just not worth it at all.
Posted by lushlala on 06-12-2017
JMS
Normally it should be a no no. Mainly because although it isn't, it has an underlying incestuous feeling about it. It isn't a good idea as past feelings could emerge and cause a rift between the siblings.

If the ex is totally over it and has moved on, then it shouldn't really be a problem. So it depends on how the people involved feel about it. I have known people who have married their sibling's ex's and the marriage has worked out very well for all involved.
Posted by JMS on 06-13-2017
kgord
I wouldn't recommend it, because I think it would cause a lot of hurt feelings. I know that my ex father in law started dating his ex's sister though, and in fact they became a couple. I think she reminded him very much of his ex and that was the reason. It seems kind of creepy, but it was just a comfort thing. They were both in their late 70's at the time.
Posted by kgord on 06-13-2017
Lizzyib
I wouldn't even consider dating a sibling's ex. I couldn't even wrap my head around dating a friend's ex. It's a huge no-no in my book. I mean, how awkward would Thanksgiving and Christmas be? My grandma already gets me mixed up with my sister, there's no way she's going to keep boyfriends straight. Plus all the hurt feelings and resentment harbored? No way! That's a recipe for disaster.
Posted by Lizzyib on 06-13-2017
vinaya
I don't have experience on this, but I believe you should strongly avoid dating your sibling's ex. When you do, you will not develop good relation with the person because he/she will be comparing you with your sibling, this kind of comparision will turn you off. Likewise, if you date your sibling's ex, your relationship with your sibling may turn sour and you will lose a good supporter. You will lose both way.
Posted by vinaya on 06-13-2017
Golden Geek
I definitely think that dating your sibling's ex is a bad idea. Even if your sibling says it's all fine (which they probably won't), it's all really NOT fine. Things are going to get awkward any time you're around them. Your sibling's probably going to act hostile and distant from you, even if they say that they aren't trying to. I think that this situation would bother just about anybody.
Posted by Golden Geek on 06-14-2017
megaanmaarie
I think society does have some pretty neat social rules. You don't date your friends' exes, so why would you date your siblings'? Despite what people say, it's generally not okay when you date their ex. Feelings are tricky things, and while people might say one thing, how they feel is totally different and those feelings do come out. I think in these situations, it's best to see what you value more: your relationship that's been there for your entire life, or one that you haven't ever been in. Are losing your siblings worth it? Probably not for most people.
Posted by megaanmaarie on 06-15-2017
HARPREETSINGH
Yeah its a so called taboo for sure but i don't think anything wrong with that. If two people love each other and have plans to get settle or even for dating it shouldn't be looked down upon. All are independent to choose and can do what they want to then why not this thing apply in dating as well. Dating should be looked upon as one drastic step before marriage as well and it may help a relation to build stronger. These are just my personal views and nothing more than that.
Posted by HARPREETSINGH on 06-15-2017
Pixie
I have never experienced this and I will never do something like this. It is so awkward to actually date the ex of your sibling. My sister's relationship with her ex was in no way a healthy one. Even if my sister might not say anything, I know that she will never approve if I am in a relationship with her ex. I will myself feel disgusted to be in such a relationship. I value my relationship with my siblings and don't want to put any of us in an embarrassing situation. This relationship with her ex will only spoil the healthy relationship that I have with my sister.
Posted by Pixie on 07-31-2017
luispas
This is a thing that I won't do, never. I have to start saying that my siblings likes weird people that are not my type and ending with the fact that I won't do that to any of them, it will be horrible. We have to respect each other and support, that's something very important that my family taught us since we were kids. I won't do it because of the comments that this act could generate, I won't do it because I know it's wrong.
Posted by luispas on 08-02-2017
cmoneyspinner
No personal experience with it, but do know of a sister who married her sister's husband after her sister died and left him a widower. There is nothing wrong with that. But I don't think I would do it. Definitely, if my sister was alive, I don't think I could date her ex-boyfriend. It feels like a betrayal. Even though it's not, since nobody was married, it still feels that way. You know what I mean?
Posted by cmoneyspinner on 08-07-2017
Marvadaum
I have never dated the ex of a sibling per se but I have dated the ex of a friend and I have to say the results were terrible. So I would advise anyone against it. There are so many cool, good looking people single and available why go after the ones you already know? For me, it's a big no.
Posted by Marvadaum on 08-07-2017
babyright
I have not been in this situation before also but i think it is not the proper thing to do since it will bring back the memories of the negative things that cause your siblings relationship to break down.
Posted by babyright on 11-28-2017
lovely
Without having a recuse to both Bible or culture I think it not necessary to agree to this, personally I wouldnt even start a relationship let alone be dating my sibling ex,is that the only man or woman on planet earth it really looks and sound awkward and I wouldn't be a part of that.
Posted by lovely on 04-08-2018
mosesoscar
Dating the ex of a sibling, to me, sounds insane. The memories you'd be bringing back to this sibling, the jealousy you may be arousing; and in some case when the relationship had gone biserk, the lack of respect and honour to your siblin. Even if such relationships ended well, it would seem like your family is out for one single person, and the motif normally attached to this is not a noble one. Conversely, it will seem like this individual is out for your family, and this time also, the motif attached to this is equally not noble.
Posted by mosesoscar on 11-13-2018
jayjaydimson
That's gonna be a no for me, because if you do it, you will lost respect from other people.
Posted by jayjaydimson on 11-23-2018
emiaj55
Essentially, it is considered taboo, because if you would have cared and respected your partner or you sibling enough you would not go make such decisions. For one, they would know your history. For another, it is never nice to flaunt your relationship to your ex with her sister when your own relationship did not end well. There would always be trust issues and you may cause unsolicited hatred between siblings.
Posted by emiaj55 on 12-14-2018