Parents Should Not Refer To Their Children As Their Best Friends

Parents Should Not Refer To Their Children As Their Best Friends
Parents should not refer to their children as their best friends. Sure it may sound sweet. But your job as a parent is not to be their friend. It is to be their parent. It is to look out for them and make sure that they are growing up with manners, respect, an education, and become a valuable part of society. I never considered my parents my best friends. I just feel that there is a time once the child is grown up for your parents to be your best friends.

I believe that when a child views the parent as a best friend, they feel they can get away with more. I see a lot of people that post pictures of their kids with hashtags saying my best friend. Great that you have a relationship with your kids like that. Great that you can do things together and enjoy it. But it is not cool when kids see you more as a friend then as a parent. They could easily loose respect for you or think that they can get by with doing things because they view you like a friend and not a parent.

Agree

kgord

I totally agree

You are there to be a parent not to be an equal. You can have a great relationship with your child, but you are there as a parent, not a buddy. You can have a close relationship with your child without referring to them as your best friend.
Posted by kgord on 01-17-2018
JoeMilford

Definitely Agree

I think that it can be pretty dangerous territory for your kids to start thinking of you as their friends and not as a viable authority figure. Our kids need us to be dependable and to discipline them--they do not need us to be their "best buddies". They can make friends everywhere else, lol. I am not saying that you are not supposed to be loving, compassionate, and close to your kids--I just think that they still need to view you as a mentor and teacher instead of a fellow colleague. That type of relationship can be had with your kids when they are established adults.
Posted by JoeMilford on 01-17-2018
cubo

Agree.

It could be a little contradictory because I use to say that my mom is my best friend I love to spend time with her and I really enjoy her company even when we fight each other. But, my mom will never stop being my mom and she's never stopped being my mom because she is my authority and I love her and respect her. I think the relationship between parents and their kids has to be comfortable and trustable, no need to appear there is not a difference of age between them because children need someone who can lead them to be a better person. Children need someone who can reprehend them when they do something bad.
Posted by cubo on 03-09-2018

Disagree

kingcool52

Nothing wrong

There's nothing wrong with calling your children your best friends. It helps create a good relationship with them. Just because you call them your best friend, does not necessarily mean that they will lose respect for you or be badly behaved. That's just completely wrong in my opinion.
Posted by kingcool52 on 01-17-2018
overcast

Disagree

I think not all families are raised the same way. And you have to understand that some of the time it can be really something to concerned about. Another thing is that children and it's going to be something to consider that it may not work out.
Posted by overcast on 01-18-2018
muaaz.93

Half baked truth

Your argument is good but not the entire picture of the relationship the kids have with their parents. If you love your kid and want him to share each and everything with you than being a friend is way better. Just think if something embarrassing has happened with your kid and he thinks that his parents might laugh or ridicule him in the process then he would never come out of that trauma. But if you have taught him respect but showed him to share his life then he would be more open about the obstacles he/she is facing in his life.
Posted by muaaz.93 on 01-17-2018
Wubwub

You can be best friends and a parent at the same t

I think being too much of a friend can be a bad thing because at the end of the day you need to be more of a parent, but these days I'm seeing more and more successful parents being both. As long as you are fair and communicative then the kids can feel like you are their friend and the only thing wrong would be if you prioritize being liked to being right.
Posted by Wubwub on 01-18-2018
OlaSidiq

Why Not?

There is an adage among the Yoruba people of Nigeria that says "It Is From Home That We Take Beauty Out". If you are not a friend to your children you should know that they will find a friend outside and you know what friends could do to each other.

You should be the best person possible for your children and that will help you shape them into whatever you want.

When you are the best friend, you will be their role model. Be the best friend to your child and leave a peaceful life afterward.

Posted by OlaSidiq on 01-22-2018
vivalavanda

You can

Parents are one of the people who are there through ups and downs, as well as your best friend. So, what is the difference? Being a parent and a best friend to your child is a really good thing. I've known some people who don't trust their parents that much because of the authority that has given to them that hinder them to talk about things. You can be both, I know children are smart enough where to stand and not overuse you being as their best friend.
Posted by vivalavanda on 01-29-2018
trendjing

I disagree

Parents should be the first person a child can think of whenever he is happy or in trouble. True enough that you need to be strict and be a disciplinarian for them to have good manners and obedience. However, being a playful and friendly parent does not mean you're allowing your child to be disrespectful to you. Having them as your best friend creates a bond and avoids secrecy or other unnecessary feelings, which in turn, develops distance. The more you treat your child as your best friend, the more you will understand everything about him/her.
Posted by trendjing on 02-02-2018
gavinci13

How about the secrets?

Growing up, have you ever kept secrets with your parents? I think this scenario is most likely to occur during our adolescence stage. One way for our children not to keep secrets to us (parents) is by us acting as their friends. If you know anything or any tactics that will let them be more open to us, please let me know. I am a young dad for my two you kids, and our strategy together with my wife is to become balance to our kids, she will implement disciplinary and strict method for our kids and I will be the one who will be more lenient. That is our plan when it comes to parenting our kids.
Posted by gavinci13 on 02-16-2018

Comments

mildredtabitha
I am not sure where I stand with this topic. I think there are more benefits of being best friends with someone but I am not sure if it has disadvantages when it comes to parenting. I believe your children will never fear you if you decide to be their friend. They will be able to share everything with you and never hide anything from you. Parents who are harsh and strict raise rebellious children. Not all but there is nothing you gain from being harsh to your child. Remember that the child will meet many people when they leave the house and you as the parent should be the most favorite person in the child's life.
Posted by mildredtabitha on 01-16-2018
mildredtabitha
I am not sure where I stand with this topic. I think there are more benefits of being best friends with someone but I am not sure if it has disadvantages when it comes to parenting. I believe your children will never fear you if you decide to be their friend. They will be able to share everything with you and never hide anything from you. Parents who are harsh and strict raise rebellious children. Not all but there is nothing you gain from being harsh to your child. Remember that the child will meet many people when they leave the house and you as the parent should be the most favorite person in the child's life.
Posted by mildredtabitha on 01-16-2018
chatbox
I don't think there's anything wrong for parents to refer to a child as their best friend specially when there is a big reason for a parent to call a child as such. There are many situations and reasons that could prompt a parent to call a child their best friend. A single parent, for one, might be in a place where a child has been the source of strength. A parent may lightly call a little child a best friend for doing some good deeds. It doesn't change, in any way, a parent's role in a child's development. It just breaks the wall and makes it easier for children to resort to their parents when the going get rough because they have such relationship. I think that this in this day and age, with the pressures and challenges that teenagers go through, this kind of relationship will be more helpful than harmful. My parents weren't my best friend because they built a solid wall between us but I broke the wall when it was my turn to be a parent because I want my child to come freely to me whenever and wherever.
Posted by chatbox on 01-16-2018
Scarlet
Some parents wanted their kids to be their bestfriend so that they would know anything about their children but they also have boundaries so that their kids know they are their parents that need to be respected. It's okay if your kids see you as their bestfriend as long they also knew that there are boundaries because they need to respect you as their parents.
Posted by Scarlet on 01-17-2018
jaymish
I agree. First you're a parent especially when your kids are still young, you can't afford to be their friends. However your child should also know that they can tell you and talk to you about anything.They should also know that if they step out of line , you will not hesitate to set them right. The problem with children today is the parents. Parents are too soft and not firm enough. The child needs to know that there are boundaries and if they misbehave, they will be consequences. A best friend will not be able to enforce this kind of discipline. As Terry Crews says, discipline is training and not punishment.
Posted by jaymish on 01-17-2018
Pixie
I disagree with this statement. I don't think that it is wrong for parents to consider their kids as their best friends. My mom has always been my best friend. We did so many fun things together. This also allowed me to share many things with my parents. They also made my childhood more memorable. However, whenever I used to do something wrong like most parents she would get mad at me and even punish me at times.
Posted by Pixie on 01-17-2018
babyright
I also agree with that view though you can be like a friend to them in a way but not at all times but to see that you play your role well as a parent to them.
Posted by babyright on 01-17-2018
Corzhens
Playing the role of a parent is the most important because you are establishing a certain bond between parent and child. The respect should always be there and the child should understand the limitations of the relationship with parents. It is all right to be a best friend to your child but the relationship is more often and not always.
Posted by Corzhens on 07-22-2018
NickJ
I think it can be weird on some levels but also understandable on others. I think for example, if the family has been through a lot... it's perfectly natural that the children would bond with their parents on that level. Because of the talks and discussions they've had. But if a child shuns other people and prefers to spend tons of time with their parents into adulthood, it can look quite bizarre.
Posted by NickJ on 01-17-2018
peachpurple
I agree that parents status as a legal guardian should be maintain in order for the kids to obey and respect our decision. If we treat kids are friends, being to happy go lucky and casual would give the kids opportunity to step over the boundary and lack of responsibilities in addition is disobedient.
Posted by peachpurple on 01-18-2018
overcast
I think parenting is one different skill. And depending on your financials and the way we do things. That is going to be lot different for each one of us. And being best friends is going to be lot different for each time. And another thing is that kids have their own with that understanding. I guess that it would be something to consider that is what makes the thing as well.
Posted by overcast on 01-18-2018
vinaya
Agreed. I am a new parent and I am always learning what can be the best for my baby. You should love and care your baby, you should make him/her feel secure around you. You should also remain friendly, however, you should never be friends. You are dad/mom after all. You have the rights to be bossy for the betterment of your kid's life. If you become friends, the child will begin to take benefits. This is what I see around me.
Posted by vinaya on 01-18-2018
Corzhens
I have to agree on this because I have seen how children would abuse their parents when they know that they are the best friend. But there is a way to go around it. Treat your child as your best friend but don’t tell him that. In other words, don’t be explicit with that best friend tag so your child will still look up to you as a parent. However, this is on a case to case basis because there are people who are naturally polite and respectful regardless of the tag you give him.
Posted by Corzhens on 01-18-2018
cess_08
Personally, this goes both ways. I agree that parents should be the role model and example to their kids. It's their responsibility to raise, mold and provide what is best for the child to be a responsible individual in the society. However, there's a thin line between being a parent and serving as a friend. If you are someone who they can feel safe to open up their experiences in all aspects of their lives, it would be easier to provide them guidance and assistance as a parent.
Posted by cess_08 on 01-24-2018
vivalavanda
Parents are one of the people who are there through ups and downs, as well as your best friend. So, what is the difference? Being a parent and a best friend to your child is a really good thing. I've known some people who don't trust their parents that much because of the authority that has given to them that hinder them to talk about things. You can be both, I know children are smart enough where to stand and not overuse you being as their best friend.
Posted by vivalavanda on 01-29-2018
kaka135
I used to think I want to be my children's best friend before I have my kids and even when my eldest was still very young. My husband didn't agree with me, but he didn't convince me to follow him too. When my eldest us growing up, I started to learn more about parenting, and also agreed that we should be our kids' mentor or beacon, but not friends. Of course, we can be very closed to them and always have fun with them, but they need to look up to us and need us to be the authority, so they know how they can go in their journey in life and they feel more secured and confident in this way too.
Posted by kaka135 on 02-04-2018
Barida
I am still trying to understand what is wrong when parents try to get more closer to their kids and I see nothing bad with that. The major reason we should always take our kids as a best friends is that by doing that, they will come to respect and tell us things about them and who they relate with which on a normal ground, they won't have had the mind to let you know.
Posted by Barida on 02-04-2018
mdayrit
I do not see anything wrong of being referred to as a best friend by my kids. It is actually a complement for me to be considered one. That only means that I have their trust and they can talk to me about anything. What I think a parent should do is to know when you need to start being a parent. Being a friend to your kids doesn't mean that you are giving in to anything that they want. Remember that friends also know how to stop each other when they think they are doing things wrong. But apart from that, parents should be able to establish to their kids that I am still your parent on top of being your friend, so know that you also have boundaries on how you treat and respect me.
Posted by mdayrit on 07-10-2018
mitan143
In today's generation, I don't see anything wrong with parents and children as bestfriends. As long as the children don't cross the boundary of respect to their parents, it is perfectly fine because it'll actually get the family's bond stronger. If I will have my own family in the future, I'll allow it to my kids too. It's fine by me if they will also see me as their best friend as long as they will show their respect for me too as their parent.
Posted by mitan143 on 10-15-2018