Wedding and the VIP guests

Wedding and the VIP guests
The VIPs at weddings are normally close family members from both sides. They will sit in an area cordoned off from the rest of the guests. There was a wedding in the neighbourhood. Hustle and bustle is what one sees at such functions. I was introduced to the family members. I have been living here for almost 26 years but have never set eyes on them. Then comes the explanation about them having migrated to far away places and n fact some they say were not even in touch with them through phone calls or emails. Some they meet almost after ten years.

And we as neighbours sit with the other guests, neighbours who were there at their beck and call whenever help was needed.

This hustle and bustle lasted almost for a fortnight. The people of the house needless to say had to sweat it out and even perhaps sloop on the floor to make room for these guests. After all they are a family.

A thought rushes through my mind and that is whether it is fair to give VIP treatment to those who are not in touch for years but their blood is what they are connected to.

I talked with the neighbour today and she said that all the guests have left obviously leaving behind a mess that the people of the house will have to clean up. They may have even left behind bitter words as it is their right – after all they are a family.

I felt sorry for my neighjbour as I found her sweeping the yard and she will have to continue doing it. Those guests have left the place and they will not be seen nor heard unless there is yet another event perhaps a funeral?

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What are your thoughts on this? Should family members be treated as VIPs when in fact the whole life through friends and neighbours rally around?


Well, the issue you are talking about isn't quite common in the Asian countries. First of all here family member generally try to stay in touch. Secondly, a family reunion where a wedding or such a huge event is carried out then the hosts needs to show respect in every way possible. But even if you don't want to put a family function of around 50 people at home then do find a hotel or a resort. It might be expensive but it takes off the burden that you are worried about.
Posted by muaaz.93 on 01-12-2018
I agree that in some culture, the couple to be married should give respect to their relatives by inviting them to the event. And when the location is distant, the couple or family of the couple should provide free accommodation. That’s why it is expensive to get married in the rural area because a formal wedding will require the attendance of almost all the close relatives. And not to forget, there are also the neighbors that need to be invited otherwise the couple may be ostracized in the community.
Posted by Corzhens on 04-23-2018
Family members will always be family members so is still always important to treat them as VIP members because we do not know who God can use to help us.
Posted by babyright on 01-12-2018
Well,it is what it is and we can't really change just like having a visitor in your home for the first time and you wouldn't mind quitting your bed for him or just a way of being warm to the shows you just want the visitor to be comfortable and well relaxed.So it same with wedding guests, one would be seen as a bad host that one come for your event and the person was treated shabbily, family members and friends would always be around to be treated like VIPs all the time but visitors just come around once in a while,so just that once we see them, we should endeavour to treat them well like VIPs.
Posted by lovely on 01-12-2018
It depends. Some people hate their families for a variety of reasons. Also not all weddings are attended by family. Interracial, inter-religion or same-sex marriages can be looked upon with scorn by relatives (close or not) who won't attend. I think VIP should be reserved only for ones parents, grandparents and best friends. Everyone else should be considered regular attendees.
Posted by NickJ on 01-13-2018
I disagree with you. Why should VIP be reserved only for parents, grandparents and best friends? And why should all others be considered regular participants? In interracial, interreligious or same-sex marriages, there is no reason for no VIP participants. I see no reason for this.
Posted by hermessantos on 01-16-2018
I think some guests can be really be demanding. And that means the wedding and other things have to be planned lot differently. I have realized that some of the time it can be bad. And some of the time it takes more toll on us. So depending on how the guests and the people are. So we have to adjust our approach that way. And we can then fix things around as well.
Posted by overcast on 01-13-2018
I guess it really depends on the immediate family of the bride and bridegroom or the couple themselves. Though I think it's not so considerate for those family members who just left without helping to clean up the place, I think after all, they are still family members, if one consider they are. I am the person who consider those as family members, and treat them as VIP, even we haven't been contact each other for years or even we don't really like each other.

Same as @muaaz, this usually don't happen to us, perhaps it's because we have different wedding tradition. I don't think I have a house big enough to fit all the extended family members, and we usually just rent hotel rooms or resort for them if they are not staying in the same place as us.
Posted by kaka135 on 01-13-2018
I think family members should always be VIP members in my book, unless they have done something very bad and have forfeited that right. It is up to the individual to decide though. You should decide who is a VIP at your wedding, you and your prospective partner.
Posted by kgord on 01-13-2018
I think that when people agree to host an event, cleaning after the mess is to be expected. This is specially true when you invite guests to stay in your home to attend family occasions like a wedding or funeral. Otherwise, if they're not invited, why bother? One can just say that the house is not available and may recommend a hotel in the area. It is hard to believe that relatives will just be coming to the house to attend an occasion without any prior communication with the host. Besides, VIP treatment is given to those who deserve them. You just don't give VIP treatment to anyone. If a neighbor gives VIP treatment to a long lost relative, there could be valid reason for doing so.
Posted by chatbox on 01-13-2018
Over here, all family members are treated as very important guests. However, there is a decorum to be observed. Getting drunk is one no-no and another is what you had mentioned about the mess. Especially when the wedding reception is held in the home where family members and relatives feel comfortable, it is more reason to act decently with proper manners. Weddings are occasions for family bonding, the union of 2 families.
Posted by Corzhens on 01-13-2018
It is an honor whenever you have the to be one of a VIP guess in wedding. We all know that it is a advantage to be VIP than a normal guess in a wedding rights ? :D So it is fun to be a VIP guess in a wedding. :)
Posted by mar06 on 01-14-2018
No they shouldn't. I don't know why people torture themselves. This is your wedding day why would you want to go through so much stress for people you never see and may not have a relationship with. On my wedding we had a very small private ceremony to exchange vows, then just invited the family to lunch at a hotel. No stress for anyone (except the hotel staff, but they are getting compensated so that's okay!) People should learn to conserve their energies for what's really important and not to sweat the small stuff.
Posted by jaymish on 01-15-2018
During my wedding reception, we had 200 guests. We organized the party in a hotel. It was expensive but at least we did not have to bother with the arrangement and cleaning afterward. many people suggested us that we should organize the party at home because it would cost us less and also can accomodate more guest. However, we did not want to go through the problems of handling too many guests.
Posted by vinaya on 01-15-2018
I think that everybody who attends the wedding so be made you feel appreciated and treated well. The wedding day is about the bride and the groom. It is their special day so the focus should be on them and making sure they are having the perfect dream day. It is such a special day thay everybody should leave feeling happy and good.
Posted by Sue on 01-16-2018
It's not just the family members that makes the VIP list in weeding and occasion. People who are of great interest to the person celebrating makes up the VIP list as well because they have got something tangible to offer either in cash or gifts. So therefore, having said that, these people on the VIP stand should be treated with more respect because they are worth it in every possible way.
Posted by Martinsx on 01-28-2018
I am very close both on my mom's and dad's family and so I believe that they must treated as VIP's. In fact those people have always been there for us. I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by such people. However, this is not the case for all people. If they have a closer relationship with their neighbours and friends then they must be considered as the VIP's.
Posted by Pixie on 01-29-2018
In our country a wedding is like a reunion of sorts, first on the list are the close family of the bride and groom. The sponsors and entourage are second. Third set are the distant relatives, guests and friends of the family.

Usually some of the distant relatives of the bride and groom also becomes a sponsor, moneyed relatives who either pays for the reception / honeymoon or gifts the newlyweds with a substantial sum. It really doesn't matter if their in touch or not with the newlyweds or the family as long as they give a worthy contribution to the wedding, then their considered as VIP.
Posted by Kakashi2020 on 01-31-2018
I guess all wedding should be a reunion of the relatives of both bride and groom. In all the weddings that I had attended in church, there is a picture-taking session after the ceremony. The families are called one by one that includes the cousins and later on even the friends are also called for the picture shot. In the reception there is the games now to involve the guests and so the families of the bride will know the families of the groom.
Posted by Corzhens on 12-15-2018