What do you think of unconventional relationships?

What do you think of unconventional relationships?
I have been with my partner 14 years but we don't live together. Many people think this is strange but it suits us both and works very well. We both enjoy our own space and although I see him most days we always part and go to our own homes at the end of the night.

Could you be in a relationship like this or do you need the security that marriage brings. I should mention we don't have children together so there is no issue of how they would be affected by this.

Comments

Sue
Different relationships work for different people. What works for you may not work for others and vise versa. If you are both happy with the relationship that you have then what others think really doesn't matter. It is your life to live as you choose. I don't think it would work for me. I was married before and I would like to be married again some day. My fiance and I enjoy our time together so we spend all our time together which works for us. Others may question that too but we are happy and that is all that really matters. Obviously your relationship is working if you have been together for 14 years.
Posted by Sue on 06-05-2017
Corzhens
Just a while ago, we were watching the evening news on tv. The hottest issue is the carnage in the casino that killed 35 people. Some spouses of those who died were interviewed and most of them were not married although they have children. My husband remarked that it looks like marriage is getting obsolete. Anyway, I am a conservative person. With a relationship, I would rather have a normal one like the typical husband and wife who sleeps together and eats together. That is the ideal relationship for me which I'm glad to have. I wouldn't be comfortable with any other setup.
Posted by Corzhens on 06-05-2017
kgord
I had a relationship like that and it did not work for me in the least. When I got married it was not to sit by myself in a house. Some people seem to need the space that it offers however. I just think it is up to the couple. No one size fits all type relationship exists.
Posted by kgord on 06-05-2017
ValX
I can't imagine loving each other, legally and married, but not living together. It honestly sounds so apart and private, like the couple doesn't open up as much as other couple do to each other and have a really tight privacy. I'm not saying that you and your partner don't open up to each other, because that doesn't sound like a good couple who is in a good relationship, which you probably is in, but if I were to live like that, I wouldn't be able to stand it. So no, I can not live like that with my partner, at least not happily.
Posted by ValX on 06-05-2017
BigDreamer
All relationships are different, what works for some, won't work for others. I personally would like to have a relationship where we didn't live together. I like to be alone, but sometimes I like someone there. It would be the perfect balance for me to have someone just spend the weekends and holidays with me!
Posted by BigDreamer on 06-05-2017
Clara1993
I like to be alone but I don't think That's a kind of relationship I would live for years! Not for the sake of safaty but Just For family, I think One day I want to have a family, And kids and a normal Life that one sounds too modern for me, Though Looking to the benefits it bring like Your own space, Not feeling very atouched to someone, And enough time to work that sounds cool too :-) But honestly don't know if I can live in that relayionship For that long :-)
Posted by Clara1993 on 06-05-2017
Zyni
Well, it's not for me, but to each his or her own. I want my husband here with me, because I enjoy his company. It sounds cliche, but he is my best friend. Even if we aren't doing something together all the time, I like knowing he's here. I don't really think it's just security or whatever, because I did used to live on my own, and I was fine.

I could never understand how people had separate rooms, much less separate houses, but hey if it works, it works. Are you guys married or dating, if you don't mind my asking?
Posted by Zyni on 06-05-2017
littlewitch66
We're not married and we are both in our sixties. We've travelled together, do many of the things couples do but we don't live together. I suppose you would say we are dating but I don't really think of it like that. He says I'm his best friend and he would hate to be without me so I guess we are best friends.
Posted by littlewitch66 on 06-06-2017
Anonymous
I believe if more people would be open to ideas like this, our divorce rate would not be as high and even though it would be considered "unconventional" we would at least be happy and able to stick together. It is disturbing how many people young, old, mid aged go the route of divorce before they will even consider an "unconventional" relationship.
Posted by Anonymous on 06-05-2017
WildSpirit
What is an unconventional relationship anyway? It's a very broad term and for me doesn't have a right answer.

I believe that every kind of relationship is valid as long as those involved are happy and respecting each other. Unfortunately this is not how a large part of society sees this situation, but the hope for a better society remains.

I believe the world will still be a better place for everyone.
Posted by WildSpirit on 06-05-2017
Makefort
Well, I wouldn't really require marriage to feel loved and have something that "bonds" me to the partner on that kind of a level. But I don't think I could live 14 years separated, meaning, not living together, in the same house. I would expect kids one day, and by being separated this wouldn't really be the best choice to raise the kid.
Posted by Makefort on 06-05-2017
littlewitch66
Everyone assumes that I am young but I am older, my children are grown and I'm free to do as I like. I've done the whole living with a man thing, tried it and didn't like it! This type of relationship suits me perfectly and I can't see myself wanting to live with a person ever again. I love the fact I'm free to do exactly as I like.
Posted by littlewitch66 on 06-06-2017
thedadinomicon
I would have no problem with this and I think our nesting situation is influenced more by financial need than to live together. If we could afford it neither of use would object to having a separate place to escape to once in awhile but there would also be plenty of sleepovers as well. You say you part ways each night and the truth is after a rowdy romantic evening that's not always ideal and it would be exhausting to have to drive all the way home after a long night of anything if it was on a regular basis.
Posted by thedadinomicon on 06-05-2017
ZevJabo
If you are both single, unmarried to another persons, your choice to live separately as a single couple without the marriage contract, is your personal preference. But what about when you both got older? Would each of you need one another for company and looking after each other?
Posted by ZevJabo on 06-06-2017
littlewitch66
In my case we are both in our sixties and both free. I have grown children and he never had any so I suppose our situation is slightly different. We are both in very good health so I guess we'll approach the 'looking after each other' if and when the time comes.
Posted by littlewitch66 on 06-06-2017
jennykoi
I dated my ex-boyfriend (now husband. LOL) for 10 years before we actually got married. People thought that we were already married because we're practically inseparable. Our set-up was either he goes to my house, stays there for a few hours, joins my family & I for meals and do stuff one would normally do in their own house. Sometimes I would do that in his house. We were so used to that set-up that when we finally got married, it kind of felt weird at first? Haha! But we now both think that getting married was better for us. I don't have any issues with other people who think otherwise. I know of some who believes that getting married is not that important. Whatever floats your boat~ ;-)
Posted by jennykoi on 06-06-2017
Linen
Ultimately (and as a general statement), I'd have to say that it would depend on the persons involved. I admit that this was not initially what I was expecting from a topic labeled as "unconventional" relationships.

For myself, I think at that length of time I'd want to at least live with my partner, even if I didn't get married (I primarily view marriage as more of a legal union than a social union nowadays). Really, I just want the emotional support of a person more than anything else. If there's a sizable legal benefit (or legal drawback) to marriage, then I would take that into consideration but what I generally seek just can't be condensed into a certificate.

If I were raising children, though, I think that I'd have to consider how being married or not being married to my partner would impact the children's lives in both the short and long term.
Posted by Linen on 06-12-2017
lyudmilka78
I believe that once you are ready for the next step it would be marriage. Marriage is a commitment and promise to one another, in the meantime if you are not ready for this next step I would stay in the same situation you are now.
Posted by lyudmilka78 on 06-12-2017
Lizzyib
No one ever knows what goes on in other peoples relationships. So it's in my opinion that if it is working for you why change it? Who cares what others think? No couple should feel pressured about their own relationship by outside entities. This goes for living together, marriage, the choice to have kids (or more kids) and where to live among a whole bunch of other things. It's your life, you need to make the choices best for you and your relationship.
Posted by Lizzyib on 06-15-2017
reginafalange
I think every case is different, whatever suits you both shouldn't be a problem for anybody else. I could say that I'm in an unconventional relationship right now cause my girlfriend lives in Europe and I'm in South America, we've been together for 16 months and it's been great so far but honestly we cannot wait to be physically together, some days is hard to not have her with me but we are right now working on our plans for our future together so that keep us going and of course the love we have for each other worth any wait.
Posted by reginafalange on 06-27-2017
Mehano
If I am honest, I always try not to judge other people. This includes their relationships.

A relationship is between two people and nobody else (well unless you are into kinky things, haha). We are all different and we like different things. If everybody would have the same type of relationships it would be boring. I like variety. I think that if the people that are involved in the relationship are happy then who cares what anybody else says.

Personally, though, I am definitely for the more traditional type of relationships. That does not necessarily mean marriage but just a normal relationship where there are you and your partner - no other people. And I would for sure want my partner to live with me if it came to that point. I am in such relationship right now and have been for years.
Posted by Mehano on 06-28-2017
vinaya
I think I can accommodate unconventional relationships even though I have not bee into this kind of relationship. The longest time I have been separated with my partner is 30 days. That was when I had to travel to another city to attend my uncle's funeral. My brother and his wife lived in different city for the entire year, in the first year of marriage, however, this did not sour theri relationship.
Posted by vinaya on 07-14-2017
joey98
congratulations on finding such a liberal relationship, that way you're always longing to see each other and keep some mystery, and don't you mind what others think, you are a normal couple in my book.
Posted by joey98 on 09-09-2017
lovely
I don't like an unconventional relationship,I don't know how others cope with this even when children are not involved which I know it secondary,the primary thing is companionship and love, how does this play out when lovers stay apart.I don't and would never understand this.
Posted by lovely on 12-15-2017
Wubwub
I think it's fine and I think it's when people force themselves to fit into certain molds that aren't even really all that important and merely just the standards that society has set is when people really start to become unhappy and resentful. If that is what is comfortable for the people and as long as they are not hurting anyone else I don't see what could be so wrong with that. I have more of a problem with people in traditional relationships who grow to see how unhappy they really are and they just damage their kids because of it.
Posted by Wubwub on 12-17-2017