Most people don't know a difference between who and whom and only use 'who' or even use them interchangeably.

Many point out that the who/whom grammar rule should be abandoned completely because it's a complicated subject for new language learners and people can still understand what you're saying even if you use 'who' instead of 'whom'.

  • English is easier and simpler if you don't need to use 'whom'.
  • It is less important which you use in informal spoken language than in informal written language.
  • In modern colloquial English, 'who' is always okay to use.
  • It just complifies the language, while people still can make out what you mean if you don't use 'whom' at all.
  • A very big portion of people don't know when to use which word.

  • It is still grammatically wrong if you use 'who' when you should use 'whom' instead.




As most people speaking English should know, English grammar and usage are dictated by the "educated" population speaking English at this point in time. That being said the word whom is falling out of favor with this generation and will probably soon because obsolete since it's not often used. I myself use the world who and seldom use the word whom unless I'm trying to be an asshole or facetious.
Posted by AlexHarris on 08-23-2017

Who is easier

I actually know the difference between "who" and "whom" because I have studied the English language and we have gone over these misuses and issues several times. However, I still just use "who" on the internet - I only use "whom" if I'm asked to or if I'm trying to appear smarter, haha.

I think that it's just far easier and you can use it without really giving it any thoughts. It doesn't bother or annoy me when people use who.

Posted by Mehano on 08-23-2017

Using who

I must admit that I am making this mistake sometimes, using who is much easier for me. English grammar is very difficult to understand and learn but with a bit of ambition, evrything can be done!
Posted by wallet on 08-23-2017

I don't know the rules so...

Since I don't know the rule on how to use who or whom I'll say "better stay with who" It's informal, easy and I don't have to bother in learning a new and boring grammatical rule... Also I wouldn't want to try to sound to refined and end up messing it up and saying it wrong.
Posted by Pink_Turtle on 08-23-2017

If you wanna sound a certain way.

Knowing the difference between the two is not something essential, but it's good to know it. It's not really necessary for people to use whom, just so sound a bit more articulate or classy and there isn't really that much need for it. On the other hand it is good to know how to use whom properly, because you can definitely sound a bit more professional in the right community.
Posted by manmad on 08-27-2017


Technically,Who seems to be easier to use and also modern,Using Whom sounds old and belongs to English of the old times.
Posted by yemzy on 09-03-2017


Easier to use especially for casual conversation. You can never go wrong in choosing this word because of familiarity.
Posted by Vastor122 on 08-25-2017

Who is simple to use.

Who is just a simple word and for casual english conversation you don't really need to use whom instead of who.Also whom is more confusing that who. I think that if you live in any english native country you should use whom but if not then who is the way to go.
Posted by AlexJPro on 08-24-2017

Using Who saves me lots of stress.

The Who vs The Whom challenge is one that has been there for decades now. In as much as native English speaking countries do not experience most of the difficulty other countries that use English as their official language with local languages used mainly in unofficial communications, I think the major problem is the difference in spoken and written English.

There are words that make more sense when written than spoken, but I care more about passing the right message when I speak or write and to avoid making big mistakes, I use 'Who' to avoid such mistakes. Although I understand that using the correct one at the right point in time is fine, I prefer the 'Who' to avoid the stress of checking where whom should be used rather.

Posted by Barida on 08-23-2017

English is not my Native Language

I was born and raised in a country where English is not our native language. Just look at my posts and you will see some grammar lapses ha ha ha! Needless to say, I find it easier to use Who instead. I'm not trying to become a grammar Nazi here so I think using Who is just fine. It would not make me a lesser person if I misuse Who and Whom. For me it's not about being able to use a certain language perfectly, what matters most is the ability to convey the message by expressing my thoughts and purpose in the most comfortable and natural way I know.
Posted by MushyPhilip1822 on 08-27-2017

When to use 'whom' is considered to be quite a confusing grammar rule to learn. An easy to way to learn is to take it this way - 'who' and 'whom' are grammatically the same as 'he' and 'him' (easy and colorful resource to learn the difference:

But is learning when to use 'whom' even worth the time?

  • It will make you look professional if the correct word is used in written language.
  • The rule isn't actually very hard and can be learned in about 10 minutes.
  • It is grammatically correct.

  • Hard to learn.
  • People can still understand what you're trying to say if you don't use this word at all.



It's not that hard

In my opinion, it's not that hard to learn, and we shouldn't ditch it all just because it might be a bit confusing to some. You can learn to use the right word in less than a minute, actually.

If you are not sure which word to use, just answer your own question with the word 'he' or 'him'. If you answer with 'he', the word is 'who'. If you answer with 'him', the word is 'whom'.

EXAMPLES: "WHO/WHOM did that?" - "HE did that". He = "Who did that?"

"WHO/WHOM did you give the present?" - "I gave the present to him". Him = "Whom did you give the present?"

So really, it's not that hard. So you should just learn the difference, and while you're at it, learn to use your/you're.

Posted by TooDarkHere on 08-23-2017

Just learn how to use it

I don't understand why people find this word hard to use or understand. It's not that hard actually and it's explained pretty simply right above me! English is not that hard if you just follow the rules!
Posted by BigDreamer on 08-23-2017

The correct way

Whom is the grammatically correct word. It should be used in certain circumstances so I don't see why we should make a mistake and say "who" instead. So what it's a little bit difficult? If you learn English the right way you should know how to use "whom".
Posted by felabruno on 08-23-2017

Grammatically correct

We have to learn how to write well no matter what. Also, It's not difficult to understand.
Posted by cubo on 08-23-2017

It's not hard

In the end it's not hard, I'm a non native speaker and this is a rule which I don't even have to think about, it just comes natural. It is so easy to learn so I don't really understand why should you write grammatically incorrect sentences because of a simple rule.
Posted by Tania997 on 08-23-2017

It's there for a reason

I think can sympathize with the idea that as long as the message is conveyed then the syntax should not matter as much, but I think there is also value in learning the proper way of saying things. There are situations when I think these two could be interchangeable and won't make that much difference, but there are probably also some specific situations where using 'who' wouldn't sound right, and this is why I believe 'whom' should continue to exist and be used.
Posted by Wubwub on 09-18-2017


If someone knows when to use whom, that is the time to use the pronoun, then the word can be used more than who. Whom and who can also be used to ask questions. I still prefer to use whom since i know the proper time to use it correctly inorder to ask questions.
Posted by babyright on 08-23-2017
I'm the first one who responded to this thread, to whom it may concern. I wouldn't choose one word over another, they deserve the same treatment.
Posted by joey98 on 08-23-2017
I see what you did there, there once was someone who I really hated because he would always mix the words up; I mean, whom would that?!
Posted by TooDarkHere on 08-23-2017
Is "whom would that?!" correct by the way ? If i'm looking at the rules.. i'm having doubts. Someone can confirm (or not) ?
Posted by Wyvh on 08-23-2017
It's completely correct, I mean whom'st'd've would use the wrong word on purpose? PS: Yes it's wrong. If you answer the question, would you say "he would do that" or "him would do that"? If the answer is 'he', then the word is 'who'. If the answer is 'him', then the word is 'whom'. For example: "Who/whom did we fight?" - "We fought him" - him = whom
Posted by TooDarkHere on 08-23-2017
I don't ever use whom and I am an American. I find who suffices for most situations. I am not an English teacher so using who works for me. Those who are sticklers for grammar might want to use whom. I don't know. It is just one of the things that you have to decide for yourself which form of the word you want to use. I never totally understood the difference between the two honestly.
Posted by kgord on 08-23-2017
I believe there is no choosing between the two. Both need to be used at the appropriated circumstances. So it's not a choice really but rather a necessity. Grammar should be observed at all times and not used when we feel like it.
Posted by Marvadaum on 08-23-2017
Well it's not a versus stuff, both of the two words have their own meaning and their own functionality and in some interviews and places, misusing them can land a thumbs in spoken or written English. Because Who” and “whom” are relativizers, words that either give extra information about a noun or categorize a noun. This blog already has a few lessons on relativizers. A lot of students find it especially hard to use the relativizers “who” and “whom” correctly. Recently, one of my students asked me if I could explain “who” and “whom” some time ago. Who/whom follow somewhat different rules when they are used in statements and when they appear in questions.
Posted by Authord on 08-23-2017
I think you're better off not using 'whom' at all if you're not sure how to use it properly. Some grammar police type will surely correct you, if you use it incorrectly.

I like the word, but I often have to look up the proper use before inserting it. I'm forgetful these days. It's easier to just say 'who.'
Posted by Zyni on 08-23-2017
English isn't complicated. And those two words aren't complicated either. In fact, through pronunciation, one can figure out quite quickly where one needs to use either one of the words. E.g. She did correct her grammar. Whom/ Who did that? between using whom and who through pronunciation, it's quite easier to figure out, who sounds more fitting in the sentence. its hard for most people as the common mistake that many make is writing a sentence or question without trying to pronounce it first. Because if one did, one would recognize correct and incorrect sentences, statements and even remarks.
Posted by evash19 on 08-23-2017
It's not that difficult to understand as long as English is your first language. I understand the difference between the two because English was my first language and it's just one of those things that I have always remembered for some weird reason. But of course, if it is not your first language and you are learning the language, it can be a tiny bit difficult to understand the rule. If you just practise, eventually you will be able to grasp the idea of the rule.
Posted by kingcool52 on 08-23-2017
I always have a hard time identifying which one to use on my sentence structure. I use who a lot. But if I find that whom sounds okay, I would use it too. I have this habit of choosing the words and terms based on how awkward they sound when you read or say them. Weird right? But it seems to be working for me from time time. If I am unsure though, I would always search the Internet for a proper one. Whom and who can really be quite tricky sometimes.
Posted by galegatling on 08-23-2017
As someone using English as a second langauge also a foreign language, I cannot distinguish between who and whom. Well I know these two words signifies different thing however, using these words is really complicated. I can do simple usages, but not the complicated ones. for exampe Who are you? Whom do you want to meet?
Posted by vinaya on 08-23-2017
English is our second language here in the Philippines. Thus, starting at our primary grades it was already taught on us even until College. Because of that, I find it easy when to use who and when to use whom. :) Who do you want? To whom did you give the money? :)
Posted by SimplyD on 08-24-2017
Jonathan Solomon
For this, I don't really see the point in voting. Mainly due to the fact that I use both regularly and correctly in my online articles. As well as in conversations and dialogues. If I had to guess, I'd say I use "who" more than "whom". But there's no particular preference whatsoever.
Posted by Jonathan Solomon on 08-24-2017
Jo-Anne Saribay
The easiest way to ALWAYS arrive at the correct usage of ‘who’ and ‘whom’ is to temporarily substitute the pronouns 'he' for 'who' and 'him' for 'whom', then use the word that sounds better. If you are female, you could also substitute the pronouns ‘she’ for ‘who’ and ‘her’ for ‘whom.’

But I always use who than who. LOL!!
Posted by Jo-Anne Saribay on 08-24-2017
I probably don't have any preference. I just use anyone that comes to my mind when I am speaking even though I think i used who more. Quite alright, I know the rules and when to use the both of them but I end up saying who more. But in any case, it doesn't make me grammatically right. I should pay more attention to this probably.
Posted by wiiky28 on 08-25-2017
I actually know when to use who or whom and this is something that I learnt in school. I can understand the difference between the two. However, it can be really confusing for many especially those who are non native English speakers.
Posted by Pixie on 08-26-2017
Using both words can be really confusing especially for most of us that aren't English natives. But I think it is very essential to learn when to use either of the two because if it is not proper then it isn't correct. A number of basics in the english language have become not so basic anymore.
Posted by Anonymous on 08-29-2017
This is a funny post to me because I believe 95% of my country people do know there is a difference between who and whom but they really don't care using them interchangeably. I simply don't blame since English language is not our mother tongue, we learnt it from our colonial master and there is no way we are ever going to be perfect in its usage.

To me, I read mass communication, I understand the difference between them and how to make good use of them separately; and I totally agree that using them wrongly is not good but I don't have any problem with my people using it as they please because it's not their father land language.
Posted by Heatman on 08-30-2017
I never thought that the basic and easiest way to learn about who and whom is by associating them with he and him. I never thought it was that simple. Because of my unawareness about when to use whom, I just use who all the time and I believe that this is the case too for most of us. I am thankful to have been refreshed about an important part of grammar!
Posted by giovanniiiii on 09-06-2017
It is worth learning! Never be afraid or lazy to put few extra hours in your education. That is the most important tool you have in this world. If you are poorly educated, you are easier to fool and trick. Think of it as an investment in your own self. Would you not want to invest in yourself? :))
Posted by Anonymous on 09-07-2017
I typically use 'whom' when necessary, but rarely use it in day to day conversations since, depending on wording- makes 'whom' rare anyhow.
Posted by Rhodolite on 09-08-2017
I honestly don't think I've ever used the word "whom" it seems like one of those weird grammar things that is disappearing in younger generations, for better or for worse. Personally, I think it's for the better.
Posted by anna on 09-13-2017
I can see the conundrum here, never thought of the who and whom debate as being such an issue. Now going through the who and whom refresher dialogues I find myself going back to the old drawing board as well! Seems simple enough one referring to the subject and the other the object but I suppose just like there are tongue teasers there are grammar teasers as well. I gather some practice and some acknowledgement of how who and whom is used from time to time will solve this issue. It's a wonderful opportunity to revise some grammar rules and reapply them. Most people use 'who' formerly and informally but this does not make it correct. To whom it may concern I suppose we owe it to ourselves to get it right so that we don't contradict our very our grammatical prowess.
Posted by Joteque on 09-13-2017
I am not really a English language master but. For me it depends ob the sentense or phrase that you will says sometimes we can use whom for better pronunciation and matches the other words but for me I use who normally much easier and it is almost the same thought with whom so no need to worry.
Posted by tophew on 09-17-2017
When we were absent in school, we had to bring an excuse letter written by our parents. The standard opening line of such letter is - To whom it may concern. To be honest, that is the only way I know how to use the word whom. And just to be safe when writing in the office, I just use who.
Posted by Corzhens on 09-19-2017
Who is often used than whom that is why most people only knew how to use who. I only used whom when writing to an unknown person like " To whom it may concern" or when asking the question "To whom?".
Posted by Anonymous on 09-21-2017